Filed under: Packers, Steelers, AFC North, NFC North, Super Bowl
In the long-awaited Super Bowl matchup between Cheeseheads and Terrible Towels, set aside your allegiance for a moment and ask yourself a simple question.
If you were inventing a merchandising gimmick, what do you think customers would prefer: An easily transportable item they could use to wave, wipe their seats, warm their hands, wash their cars and flag down help in case of emergency?
Or one that makes them look like the victim of a fraternity prank?
If you went with the first option, congratulations! You are a person of style, common sense and decency.
If you went with the second, you are from Sheboygan, Kenosha or Muskego and have a cholesterol level approximately 10 times higher than your IQ.
Unless you bow three times a day toward Vince Lombardi's grave, you would never voluntarily go out in public with a foam-rubber cheese wedge on your head. If Lombardi were still alive, even he would probably laugh at you. I realize them's fighting words for Packers fans, but I'm on your side here.
I like cheese. I'm all for expressing love for your team. I just hate to see you lose your dignity in the process.
And for your own protection, please don't mess with the Terrible Towel. Those who do tend to come back as cockroaches or Bengals fans in their next lives.
I can't explain such cosmic powers. I just know the Gods don't offer the same protection to cheddar-headed Packers fans. They simply can't be worried with defending the nobility of a woman wearing a cheese bra.
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