Saturday, June 11, 2011

Nothing but Net: New Jersey Nets Sign Eleven-Year-Old Boy as New Head Coach

Transformations have come to the NBA as of late, with All-Stars joining forces to take over the league and a possible lockout next season. However, New Jersey has taken it to a whole new level.

On Saturday, Nets General Manager Billy King announced that an eleven-year-old boy named Jordan Bahr will become the new head coach of the organization. When questioned about his choice King replied:

"The decision was easy after watching the kid completely destroy the competition in NBA 2K11. In only one season in the game's franchise mode, Coach Bahr finished with a 65-17 record and led his team to the NBA Finals where they lost a heart breaker to the San Antonio Spurs in Game 7. Even with the eventual loss, the season was more impressive than we've ever done."

Bahr was available for comment shortly after hearing the news.

"Well, this is a shocker. I was just playing my game and I got a call from the real Nets. I thought I put together a good team when I did my fantasy draft, but not good enough. I'll force a team to trade me their top pick so I can get even better. All I need is a point guard so Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Dirk Nowitzki, and Dwight Howard can have somebody to pass them the ball. Ray Allen came off the bench well, but we also will need more depth."

This should take the Nets to the next level in 2012. Watch out for Bahr to lead them to a 41-41 record and a potential eight seed.

 Former Nets coach Avery Johnson and his hilarious voice were unavailable for comment.

Update: When told that there is no fantasy draft and given a roster of his team, Bahr immediately resigned.

Amerie Rachel Bilson Karen Carreno Bijou Phillips Marika Dominczyk

No comments:

Post a Comment